2013 Santa Fail

At least it was the free Bass Pro Shop Santa so I didn't have to pay for this awkward moment captured on film.

Santa was an epic fail, but at least Corinne enjoyed the fish tank there. 

A slice of hilarious

Let this serve as a warning to my children: whatever you text can and will be shared. Especially if it's inappropriate. Inappropriate just moves it into the sharing fast lane. 

Between my family/friends, and the friends that they shared this with, over 200 people viewed this text gone bad in less than an hour. 

This is a text with Jim, our contractor, today. 

Started out normal:

Then, I was awoken from a nap today by this text:

Because here in Georgia, if one can't have sex, then obviously they go hunting.  Logical. 

So after a few hours of debating the perfect reply (one suggestion was to wish him luck on his "Hunt or Cunt") amongst friends, I sent this reply:

His reply was almost instantaneous. I'm sure he had been biting his fingernails for the previous few hours wondering (hoping) it was lost in transmission.

At the suggestion of my mother, I put him out of his misery:

His face will be 50 shades of red tomorrow when he comes to lay my tile, I'm sure. 

15m

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BHPMywoAVU

Stairs. He's all about stairs right now. Loves going up and going down them. He slides down on his belly, same way he slides off chairs and couches. He tried to do the same method on our bed, but the distance was too high. He landed with a thud on his feet and then fell back out of surprise. 

But stairs are where the fun is. It's 8:18a and he's gone up and down them 8 times so far. But now he's moved onto his second favorite activity: opening and closing gates/cupboards/doors. 

Santa brought Corinne a gift early: a baby doll table. 

Evan loves it because it has cabinet doors he can open, slam, open, slam, open, slam ALL DAY LONG. 

He really likes to do it when Corinne is napping. 

He says: die (very odd, but he'll crawl around saying this all day...eerie), up (he really has this one down pat), hi, and a book. Not just "book". It's "a book". He'll also put a phone up to his ear and make a sound that sounds like "Hello". It comes out "ah-o?"

I'm packing up his 12m clothes and bringing out his size 18m clothes. He must have had a growth spurt because they now fit perfectly. He wears size 4 shoes and is still rocking the 4 teeth he's had forever, not adding anymore to the collection. 

He's started sleeping through the night. In the last week he slept through all the way about two nights and only got up once for 4 nights. However, the night before last he was up every 90 minutes. Oy.

He'll dance to music and will stand on his own for a few seconds very seldomly. I just don't see a drive in him to stand or walk. He's very content crawling everywhere and being held. I don't think he's going to walk until 2014. 

The Fridge

The only appliance more interesting than the dishwasher is the fridge. It's cold! There are things to grab! It's funny watching mom freak out when I bang a glass bottle of salsa on the floor! 

Good times.

The fridge had recently developed an unholy smell (traced to a package of raw chicken), so I set about cleaning the fridge to rid us of the smell which seemed to have permeated the walls. 

The only thing thing more fun than a fridge is a fridge you can climb INTO!

School Christmas Show

Last night was Corinne's Christmas show at her school. Her school goes from age 2 - 8th grade, so it was basically an elementary school performance. The preschool sang two songs first, followed by the Christmas show. 

Corinne was the only one who decided to sit down during it. And for good measure, she stuck her bottom lip out the whole time. But she did better than the super advanced "I'm only two, but I look and speak like a 4 year old." In her class who burst into tears halfway through and had to be escorted off by her mom. I'm not going to lie, seeing that made me feel a teensy bit better: My kid can't sing yet, but at least she can relax on stage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHvBitukdXg

Did I mention she was the cutest kid there in her little precious Santa dress? Sometimes I just want to squeeze her and eat her she's so freaking cute

The delegator

I changed Corinne's diaper, wrapped it up and told her to go put it in the trash. 

Obviously she's been taking some courses in management, as she got about halfway to the trash can, then made a beeline for Evan. She gave him the diaper and told him "Trash". 

Evan is a poor employee. He didn't comply. His yearly review is going to suffer.