Mommy fail.
So we have a wedding this weekend. I needed a semi formal dress that fit my "still in postpartum glory" body. Off to the mall, double stroller in tow!
We walk around the mall, I get a little bow tie for Evan, Corinne and I share some food court cuisine while watching the merry-go-round, and I'm patting myself on the back for getting out in public with two babies.
I pick some pretty dresses, close myself in a large dressing room (to accommodate the double stroller), and strip down.
I try on two dresses, and as I'm taking off the second one, I feel moisture on the ground. Apparently my boobs sprung a leak.
We're talking fountain-style out of each nipple. I'm shooting my belly, the floor, the dress I just took off, coating everything within an 8 inch radius in milk.
I find my nursing pads in the heap of clothes, and hurriedly hold them to myself as I wrangle Corinne out of the stroller (she can suck a boob dry in less than 5 minutes).
I give her a couple minutes on each boob to take care of the fountain problem.
Then I wake Evan up to finish the boobs off. So now I'm singing songs to Corinne to occupy her while nursing Evan.
I'm sure the people in the next room over appreciated the crying babies and me singing.
More pats in the back for getting this mommy shit down pat, while ignoring the milk-coated wet floor.
I hear Evan get busy in his diaper, so after a few minutes, I put him on the little bench in the room and change him. Then he starts fountain-ing, spraying himself in the face, in his eye (I'm impressed with his bladder!), on the wall behind him, and all over the bench.
I wrangle up a wipe and do my best to remove all the bodily fluids we decorated the fitting room with.
I'm going to be extra leery of the cleanliness of fitting rooms in the future. If we can do that much damage to one, I can only imagine what the rest of the population does in there.
